If I didn't feel sick enough watching USC's John David Booty throw two early touchdowns against a Notre Dame defense that couldn't cover Charlie Weis on a 15-yard out -- let alone Dwayne Jarrett -- I hit rock bottom when ABC channel 9 suddenly went out midway through the first quarter.
Nothing but static. No game. No announcers. Nothing.
God probably didn't want me to be tortured by watching the final three hours of the game.
After speeding to a local bar only to discover the game was back on, I rushed back home to see the Irish cut USC's lead to 21-10. That was as close as Notre Dame would come to victory.
It's painfully obvious that Notre Dame won't compete for a national title until at least 2008. That's when the team has a softened schedule, Weis will have his own recruits and the team will hopefully have what it's lacked the past 12 years. Speed.
The defense simply cannot cover anyone. Booty isn't that great of a quarterback but he had three touchdowns before I could drink two beers. The defensive line once again got no pressure on the quarterback and the defensive backs once again failed to pop an opponent's wide receivers at the line of scrimmage. Add in Chinedum Ndukwe's injury forcing rookie David Burton into the lineup and it's easy to see how the Trojans scored 37 points against the Irish defense.
I could go on and on about the poor play of the offensive line, the unforgivable drops by Rhema McKnight which probably changed the entire course of the game, or the awful kick coverage. But there's no point. The bottom line is that Notre Dame is still at least a year away from truly contending for a national title. The schedule next year is brutal and the Irish will be breaking in a new quarterback, two new receivers, and four offensive lineman. The defensive line is gone, as are several linebackers. On top of those losses, Notre Dame starts its season with the following schedule: Georgia Tech, at Penn State, at Michigan, Michigan State, at Purdue, at UCLA, Boston College and USC.
Ouch.
Now the Irish will go to a BCS bowl game they probably shouldn't be in with the real chance of being maimed by another top-tier program. But even if the Irish lose another bowl game, I won't be too upset. Weis has done a great job with some poor players. Yes, Tyrone Willingham gave him Quinn, Walker, McKnight, and Samardzija (who had zero touchdowns in two years under Tyrone). But he also gave him absolutely no offensive lineman, no defense and no place kicker. The media pundits keep crediting Willingham with giving Weis the players to win. Maybe at the skill positions, but not anywhere else. This team still needs some time. Two years ago, I would have been thrilled with a 19-5 record and two BCS bowl appearances. I'm not going to start complaining now.
The one bright spot on Saturday was watching Quinn. The senior piled up 350 total yards and three touchdowns despite no defense, no one to protect him in the pocket and no running game. I'd love to see Troy Smith in the Irish offense and Quinn with Ohio State's, just to see how the two would perform.
In other news, Kip Wells signed a $4 million deal with the defending World Series champions. By the way, he was 2-5 with a 6.60 ERA and a 1.85 WHIP last season. And don't forget he's getting pins removed from his foot this week. How bad is this deal? Let's just say no one in my fantasy league will draft Kip Wells next season. Not even Jason Hummel.
I'm going to tell you a little story about Dave. Dave is a .263 career hitter. Dave has never played a full season. Dave is 33 years old, hit more than 20 home runs in a season once, has never reached the 65-RBI mark, struck out 121 times in 2005 and boasts a .208 career average against left-handed pitching.
His name? David Dellucci. His market value? 3 years, $11.5 million. And I wonder why the Indians haven't won a World Series since 1948.
We now live in a world where Adam Eaton makes $8 million to pitch a baseball. The same Adam Eaton who posted an ERA above 5 and WHIP higher than 1.50 last season. I'm speechless.
At this point, baseball is completely out of control. You've got the rich teams bidding over the right to talk to a player. You've got players losing 13 games and pitching in the deciding game of the National League Championship Series (Oliver Perez, who isn't even available in Yahoo! fantasy leagues). You've got players getting cut by a team only to be picked up by another and then pitching and winning World Series games (Jeff Weaver). And you've got players recovering from elbow surgery that kept them out almost the entire 2005 season banking $8 million to play in Los Angeles (Randy Wolf).
This brings me to my new goal as I head into adulthood. It's a simple three-step plan.
Step 1: Somehow figure out a way to procreate left-handed boys.
Step 2: Make as many as I possibly can.
Step 3: Teach them to pitch.
The best part is I don't even have to completely succeed with step 3 and I'll still be rolling in the money by the time I'm 45. The way Major League baseball is paying crappy players, my boys won't even have to be good. They'll just need a left arm, fingers, a hand, and the ability to throw above 67 mph.
Nothing but static. No game. No announcers. Nothing.
God probably didn't want me to be tortured by watching the final three hours of the game.
After speeding to a local bar only to discover the game was back on, I rushed back home to see the Irish cut USC's lead to 21-10. That was as close as Notre Dame would come to victory.
It's painfully obvious that Notre Dame won't compete for a national title until at least 2008. That's when the team has a softened schedule, Weis will have his own recruits and the team will hopefully have what it's lacked the past 12 years. Speed.
The defense simply cannot cover anyone. Booty isn't that great of a quarterback but he had three touchdowns before I could drink two beers. The defensive line once again got no pressure on the quarterback and the defensive backs once again failed to pop an opponent's wide receivers at the line of scrimmage. Add in Chinedum Ndukwe's injury forcing rookie David Burton into the lineup and it's easy to see how the Trojans scored 37 points against the Irish defense.
I could go on and on about the poor play of the offensive line, the unforgivable drops by Rhema McKnight which probably changed the entire course of the game, or the awful kick coverage. But there's no point. The bottom line is that Notre Dame is still at least a year away from truly contending for a national title. The schedule next year is brutal and the Irish will be breaking in a new quarterback, two new receivers, and four offensive lineman. The defensive line is gone, as are several linebackers. On top of those losses, Notre Dame starts its season with the following schedule: Georgia Tech, at Penn State, at Michigan, Michigan State, at Purdue, at UCLA, Boston College and USC.
Ouch.
Now the Irish will go to a BCS bowl game they probably shouldn't be in with the real chance of being maimed by another top-tier program. But even if the Irish lose another bowl game, I won't be too upset. Weis has done a great job with some poor players. Yes, Tyrone Willingham gave him Quinn, Walker, McKnight, and Samardzija (who had zero touchdowns in two years under Tyrone). But he also gave him absolutely no offensive lineman, no defense and no place kicker. The media pundits keep crediting Willingham with giving Weis the players to win. Maybe at the skill positions, but not anywhere else. This team still needs some time. Two years ago, I would have been thrilled with a 19-5 record and two BCS bowl appearances. I'm not going to start complaining now.
The one bright spot on Saturday was watching Quinn. The senior piled up 350 total yards and three touchdowns despite no defense, no one to protect him in the pocket and no running game. I'd love to see Troy Smith in the Irish offense and Quinn with Ohio State's, just to see how the two would perform.
In other news, Kip Wells signed a $4 million deal with the defending World Series champions. By the way, he was 2-5 with a 6.60 ERA and a 1.85 WHIP last season. And don't forget he's getting pins removed from his foot this week. How bad is this deal? Let's just say no one in my fantasy league will draft Kip Wells next season. Not even Jason Hummel.
I'm going to tell you a little story about Dave. Dave is a .263 career hitter. Dave has never played a full season. Dave is 33 years old, hit more than 20 home runs in a season once, has never reached the 65-RBI mark, struck out 121 times in 2005 and boasts a .208 career average against left-handed pitching.
His name? David Dellucci. His market value? 3 years, $11.5 million. And I wonder why the Indians haven't won a World Series since 1948.
We now live in a world where Adam Eaton makes $8 million to pitch a baseball. The same Adam Eaton who posted an ERA above 5 and WHIP higher than 1.50 last season. I'm speechless.
At this point, baseball is completely out of control. You've got the rich teams bidding over the right to talk to a player. You've got players losing 13 games and pitching in the deciding game of the National League Championship Series (Oliver Perez, who isn't even available in Yahoo! fantasy leagues). You've got players getting cut by a team only to be picked up by another and then pitching and winning World Series games (Jeff Weaver). And you've got players recovering from elbow surgery that kept them out almost the entire 2005 season banking $8 million to play in Los Angeles (Randy Wolf).
This brings me to my new goal as I head into adulthood. It's a simple three-step plan.
Step 1: Somehow figure out a way to procreate left-handed boys.
Step 2: Make as many as I possibly can.
Step 3: Teach them to pitch.
The best part is I don't even have to completely succeed with step 3 and I'll still be rolling in the money by the time I'm 45. The way Major League baseball is paying crappy players, my boys won't even have to be good. They'll just need a left arm, fingers, a hand, and the ability to throw above 67 mph.
Apparently, those four things are the only criteria required to make big money in the Majors these days.
3 comments:
Booty? Not THAT good of a QB? He arguably out-performed Quinn that night. 46% pass completions??? Those aren't exactly Heisman numbers. Booty had over 60%. I hope Brady does well with the rest of the season. He's a great college-style QB. Just give JD his due - he's a decent QB as well.
He's good but not great...as I stated. He played well and very well could become one of the best passers in the nation next year. But not yet. Looking at just completion percentages doesn't tell the whole story. Booty had a good running game, lots of time to pass and Jarrett going against ND
s overmatched secondary. Quinn had none of those things and single-handedly kept the Irish with 11 for most of the game.
Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it.
The major problem I have with this post is that Joe is a little girl that can't drink 2 beers in any kind of time that could be kept by something other than a calendar. I drank 5 beers between the start of the game and Notre Dame's 4th time going for it on 4th (which was about 10 minutes). I am a man. Joe is a little girl. And Kip Wells is a god.
(at least one of those is refuteable)
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